Why are we our biggest critics? Why do we allow ourselves to talk down to ourselves when we wouldn’t allow anyone else to talk to us that way? We say things mentally to our self. We say things out loud to our self. We pick apart certain traits about our self. We see things we want to change about our self. We compare ourselves. We are our biggest critic. But why?
I think a lot has to do with society and the competitive nature we tend to have. Social media has developed a lot of this and will pull out every insecurity anyone may have. You scroll through your timeline seeing other people’s lives, wishing, hoping, praying, wanting what they have. You see new hair colors and hairstyles you must try. You see new makeup you must wear. You see young “happy” couples taking exotic trips together. You see married couples with three kids wishing you could be that happy with three kids. You see a married couple with a brand new baby wishing you could just have what they have. Life is messy. Social media is not. Social media is a place to post the one out of every one thousand pictures it took to get that perfect picture. Social media is temptation. You may not think it bothers you scrolling seeing picture after picture while your mind is taking it in. Absorbing the thoughts, feelings and comparison, noting every difference. Life is not picture perfect. Life has ups and downs. Life has good, bad and sad. Life has hurdles you jump through that make you stronger when you come out on the other side. Life is growing old with your husband. Life is laughing at each other and all the weird things about each other that you absolutely love. Life is taking pictures where your hair is perfect but your eyes are closed or your eyes are open but your hair is blowing in your face.
Let me ask you this. Can you imagine if every single one of us looked alike? That would be so incredibly boring. If we all had the exact personality, the exact same skills. Your strength was my strength and your weakness was my weakness. Then what?
God has given us a very detailed description as to what we are made to do and who we are made to be. He has given each of us a set of skills and talents. He has given us each a set of strengths and weaknesses. God has made us different because different is beautiful.
One persons meaning of beautiful might not line up exactly with another’s thoughts on beauty but that’s okay. I’ll tell you why it’s okay in this instance. For one, if everyone saw beauty the same then relationships might be a little difficult. I’m not just talking about outward beauty here. 1 Peter 3:3-4 says this “your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” Enjoy being your unique beautiful self and welcome your weirdness. My husband loves my weirdness and I adore his weirdness.
If a woman had the finest jewelry and the finest clothing but her heart is cold and harsh why would anyone want to be around you? Your heart is where your beauty lies. Beauty is created from the inside. What your heart is filled with is what will spill out and onto other people. What do you want overflowing and spilling out? Spread love. Spread hope. Spread joy. Choose kindness. Every single day, choose kindness. Try not to get so caught up in your appearance and what people think of you. Focus on the way you make people feel.
It’s NOT okay when social media starts telling you who is beautiful and who is not. Who is a good mother and who is not. Who is happy and who is not. Who has the best job and who does not. Illustrate your life. Paint glorious pictures with your happiness. Your life is divinely orchestrated.
We need to stop being our biggest critic and start being our biggest cheerleader. We have got to figure out a way to start loving ourselves and seeing ourselves as God’s beautiful “unique” creation. Stop picking yourself apart and start telling yourself you are worthy.
Spread kindness, create kindness, choose kindness.