Its okay to not feel okay.

You feel down. You feel out. You feel alone. You feel depressed. You feel anxious. You feel scared. You feel overwhelmed. You feel annoyed. You feel sad. You feel afraid. You feel defeated. You feel nervous. You feel tired. You feel exhausted. You feel worried. You feel confused. You feel absent. You feel dumb. You feel hopeless. You feel numb. All of these are emotions that you may have felt at some point after having your baby. You are not alone. You are feeling these emotions due to physical and emotional changes going on inside your body. Your hormones (estrogen and progesterone) take a huge dip and this can play into the cause of Postpartum depression (PPD). Sleep deprivation is another huge factor that plays into this. You don’t know tired until you have had a newborn baby. I don’t care if they are sleeping through the night at day one (which hopefully this is not true because that is not healthy – baby needs to eat!) Your mind as a new mother is always running. You are nervous you won’t know how to care for this new baby. You are overwhelmed on having to care for someone other than yourself. You are anxious about dropping your baby. You are scared you won’t make milk to feed your baby. You are annoyed at your husband for sleeping SO good at night (believe me I know this!!) You might see your babies weight go down and you may tell yourself you are not a good mother for letting that happen. You might blame yourself if your baby cries. You might hate your new body or compare yourself to other moms. There are a number of things that can run through your head without you even knowing it and honestly, you might not even think anything is wrong with you. My mother used to text my husband and ask how I was doing because she knew I would always say “oh I’m doing great!” I’m not the person to let people know I’m struggling but as a new mother it is okay to struggle! You need to let yourself talk to others and allow others to help you. It is so tough to tackle a newborn on your own, especially with your recovery process. I know it’s hard to allow people in during such a vulnerable time, believe me I didn’t want a single person around me, my baby and my husband. One of the reasons being I didn’t want any germs getting to him. Allow yourself to take a breath and tell yourself you are doing great!! You are a new mother and you and your precious little one are learning each other. You both will figure it out as you go. Lean on each other! I promise you are not alone in these feelings and I promise you it will get better. Fear will turn to joy and sadness to happiness. The love for your sleeping husband will continue I promise! 🙂 Do not sit back and keep these feelings bottled up. Talk to someone. It is OKAY to feel this. It is okay to struggle. You are not expected to know everything about being a mother, you learn as you go. Society paints this picture of everything going smoothly and everything falling into place. It’s not a smooth transition. You are exhausted, you are healing, you are physically and emotionally drained, you are a new mom. You count on others and you forgive yourself. As are as it is with social media today, don’t compare yourself. You are your own person healing in your own way. Your emotions are your own and your body is your own. God did not create anyone else like you so hold fast to that thought. You are the only one who could have brought that baby into this world and your body just did an incredible thing. Don’t forget to love yourself. Surround yourself with people who love you and will support you along the way. It is okay to be tired and ask for help. It is okay to want to take a moment for yourself and grab a 30 minute nap or a long hot shower. You must care for yourself so you can care for your new baby. Your baby absolutely adores you and only you. YOU are their mom and only YOU. You are more than enough momma!!